Governor Ass Hat, Stop Shitting on Texas.

Posted: 8 December, 2011 in Rants
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m not ashamed of being a Texan, but I am ashamed of you Rick Perry.

You are an Ass Hat.

That’s right.  An Ass Hat.

Yeah that’s not a ten gallon on your head. It’s an ass. and I don’t mean a donkey (we know you’re more of an elephant guy anyhow). I mean an ass like a butt, a tush, or a tucus (that’s Jewish for ass, but you wouldn’t know that cause you’re such a proud Christian). One of those asses that shits. Asses are full of shit. You are full of shit Rick Perry. Much like an ass. and you’re shitting on the heads of Texans who don’t like you, cause you are an ass hat full of shit. And you’re shitting on us with all that shit that you are full of. In the past few months you have shit on gays, women, students, soldiers, poor people, non-Christians, children, gay soldiers, women soldiers, gay women soldiers, gay children soldiers, non-christian students, poor students, and more (I could go on, but you get the picture).

That’s a lot of shit, asshat Perry, A whole lot of shit. You need to take some pills – like that amodium or whatever the fuck it’s called – to control your shit. You must have diarrhea or something, the way you shit all over the place. I know we have great Mexican food in Texas, but you need to switch it up. Eat some Mediterranean or something and try to regulate your political bowel movements. Cause it’s embarrassing to get shit on, even more embarrassing than seeing you shit yourself on national TV.

We’ve been taking your shit for some time, Governor Ass-hat Perry. Ever since we got rid of Bush II, we’ve had to wade in the diarrhea that falls from you Gubernatorial Head-wear. At least Bush was less of an ass and more of just a hat (with nothing in it).

You know who would make a better governor than you? A better President? Kinky Friedman. He would have been a much better governor, cause his hat ain’t full of shit. I mean sure he has an ass, but he doesn’t wear it on his head like a hat. And he shits in a toilet or outside like a responsible cowboy. Not on other Texans. That’s why I voted for him and not for you. You ass hat.

It’s like, remember that one good thing you did, with the HPV vaccine. That was not shit. That was a vaccine. It didn’t come from your hat and it saved people’s lives. But now you’ve shit on that too, because you clearly have the incontinence of a 100-year-old anal rape victim. But you’re not a hundred years old and I bet you’ve never even had an anal adventure, consensual or otherwise,   so there’s really no excuse for all this shit.

And stop taking credit for all the good things that happens in Texas. Yes, we’ve got the lowest unemployment of any state in the US. Yes we have the best songs, the best food, and we’re the biggest (cause Canada, I mean Alaska, don’t count).  We got the rangers (The ball team as well as Chuck Fucking Norris) and ACL and South by southwest. But you didn’t do any of that. Cause it’s not shit. Those things happen because we’re Texans and we’re fucking awesome like that.

So you’ve got swagger and a stare, so what. It doesn’t matter how many sexy photo shoots you do for magazine covers. No one is going to find your political scatology sexy. Not even those people who like regular scat play (like Ann Coulter) and those people are crazy.

Also, that’s a dumb jacket. Just sayin.

Stop Shitting on Texas, Governor Ass Hat Perry.

Cause we don’t like it. Not one little bit. We like our asses between out backs and our legs, We like our hats regular, and we the only shit we like handling comes from cows (cause they make great frisbees and kindling).  And America probably won’t like all that shit of yours either.

I am Ranter and I approved this Message,

…bitch

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Comments
  1. […] your drinking leisure, a reposting of the 2nd most popular post this blog has ever seen (next to my tactful letter to Rick Perry) The Game Of Thrones drinking […]

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