Dear SlaneGirl, or, In praise of the Cocksucker

Posted: 27 August, 2013 in Rants
Tags: , , , , , ,

Shuffle Says: “Africa Must Wake Up” Damian Marley & Nas, Distant Relatives

[Note: Links to mentioned forums or pictures are not reproduced here. It is yet unconfirmed whether individuals in said pictures are aged of legal adulthood.]

There’s been a lot of nonsense being tossed about the intranets the past week about “SlaneGirl”.

Just from vague description –“girl caught sucking cock at Slane Castle”– my first thoughts were, “good them” I’m glad these two young people are having a good time with their lives.

Then I made the mistake of searching ‘Slane Girl’, because. Well. I’m human, OK, fucking sue me.

Now certain ‘reputable’ search engines try to keep pornographic images from their image search so I had to click on forum sites to actually see the pictures. And, much like a school child in a rush to write his book report on the latest adventure of Curious George and the Pervert in the Yellow Hat, I intended to just look at the pictures.
I’ll just gloss right over these so-called ‘words’.
But then I forgot the most valuable lesson a mother can teach her child about the dark dark world that is the internet.

NRYTC (Never Read YouTube Comments)

But I did. And was a little more than disappointed with the young Irish male concert goers on the site.

She’s dim they said.
He’s a Lege they say.

Shame on you, Slane haters. Shame on you.

What reason could you possibly have to be cruel to woman for sucking cock? The only reason I could think of is a deep-seated self loathing turned on the innocent because your own cock is not getting sucked.

Oh the same of it indeed.

-but she IS stupid, A mother I know told me. –what happens when her school finds out? Or her job? Or her parents?

“what if someone found out about this?” !!!

I take issue with that premise. It posits that there is something inherently wrong with the sucking of cock. Sure we might debate the validity of the venue, but haven’t most people received or at least sought some sort of play at a musical event? Whether in sweaty dancical confines of an MDMA fueled rave or at the grinding pulsating booty popping of a rap show, the throbbing come-ons and wails of a pop show, or in the depths of a thrashing moshing punk orgy. Hath none of you copped a feel? Slipped a hand under the clothes of lover or even brand new friend? Snuck off to the tree line or bathroom for a roll in grass (or stand against the bathroom stall)? Stood quietly along the back wall at a conspicuous angle, skirt hiked up?

You should be cheering her on. She’s sucking cock! Isn’t that great? She’s doing it in public. She clearly loves sucking cock and doesn’t care that everyone at Slane knows it. Good Wa’an her. Because the more people that love to suck cock in the world the more cocks in the world get sucked. And as a person with a cock, I’d like to put my deep-throated support behind praising people who love to suck cock.

Personally, I don’t like to suck cock. Sorry. It’s just who I am. I can’t change that. This means that because of me less cocks in the world get sucked. I am part of the problem. I contribute to the saddening ratio of cocks that would like to be sucked to people who want to suck cock. Yet, in my life I have been blessed with a goodly amount of people who love to suck cock. And I thank the great Lords of Kobol for them and their sweet cock sucking ways.

Truly, Slane Haters? Would you rather live in a world where most cocks go unsucked for fear by them that would of being shamed for such actions? Or might this earth be a better place if the word Cocksucker was used with reverent hushed tones or joyous shouts? All Hail! In our midst kneels a great cocksucker. She hath sucked the cock of her lover to the raucous shouts of Emin3m! Indeed she is fierce and mighty.

So Upward Ho, Slane Girl. May your life be filled with wonderful cocks for you to suck and may those cocks respect the wondrous gift that is your lovable cocksucking nature.

  1. […] that’s what tumbler/xhamster is for), but yesterday someone found last week’s “Slane Girl” post by searching “is slane girl ok?”. It made my heart swell a little. I […]

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