Oh Gods, Here We Go Again

Posted: 20 January, 2014 in Rants
Tags: , , , , ,

“quit the bitching on your blog. Stop pretending art is hard.”

I’ve started another novel and it’s daunting as ever. More so this time, I think.

Because I know what it is and I know what happens to my novels. I know how they languish on hard drives and in notebooks unfulfilled; Like us millenneals with so much potential left to wage slavery and student loans.

Most times I end up with a novel it comes from somewhere else; a short story that keeps going on, a journal full of notes that only needs to be resculpted till it’s story shaped, a group of ramblings that are tangentially related in need of narrative glue or a nail gun and sandpaper. When I put it together there is already a structure or a body or in the very least, a huge fucking chunk of words.

This is the first time I’ve had to start from the ground up and maybe it won’t turn into a novel, maybe it will just be a bundle of stories. Who knows. I believe stories grow to be the length they need to be, not what the author wants, but from what keeps coming out I can only see a novel, and I’m barely beginning. That mountain looks pretty fucking high.

The good news is that it keeps coming. Every time I walk away from the thing for more than a couple hours, words start rattling around in my head again and I need to leave in the middle of a conversation or a concert. When I can’t get to my computer I scribble down short passages in the book I’m reading or on a napkin or my arm. They need expanding and there’s dozens of them so I have mechanical work to do if I get stuck. It’s exciting. It’s also one of the more personal things I’ve ever worked on. Most of my work, for all of its magical strangeness, is somewhat autobiographical, but this piece (let’s just give it a working title for here) Beans is  much closer to factual than I’ve ever come.  We’ll see what happens.

Sorry Amanda if this classifies as bitching.

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