A Tale of Two Damons

Posted: 21 August, 2014 in Daily Droppings, Other
Tags: , ,

Speaking of Matt Damon,
I went to university with this kid named Matt Damon (not the famous movie actor, obviously).

However, in addition to being named Matt Damon, the college student (and my fraternity brother) Matt Damon looked remarkably like the movie actor Matt Damon. Even People who didn’t know his name would often tell him so.

Some time around late fall, Matt saw me at the pub and suggested we write a letter. He approached me because I had a typewriter and he himself was out of printer credit. [There was also a typewriter in the library but he didn’t know that and I wanted to be part of this.]

We went back to my house and up to my office. I sat down at the typewriter, paper already ready to go from passing out while working last night.

What’s the letter to say, I asked

Y’know. Just that we have the same name and people say we look alike and it’s weird and uncomfortable and stuff.

Okay, I said. and typed the following letter:

 

Dear Mr. Damon,

My name is also Matt Damon. In addition to which, many people say I look like you. This makes me uncomfortable.

Sincerely,

Matt Damon.

 

And he signed it.

One of our fraternity brothers was a photography student. He took and developed a photograph for us to include with the letter. The photograph is of the college student Matt Damon holding the previous year’s yearbook open to his picture and name. The other page is covered with a piece of printer paper and written in large sharpie are the words

I AM
MATT
DAMON

[At a distance, a yearbook is clearly a yearbook. The format is both so unique and so universal they are instantly recognizable, but the individual faces and names when held even at a moderate distance, say to fit in a picture of one holding said yearbook, renders the characters illegible. However our photographer was very good and used a camera with some great amount of pixels so you could determine the names of the individuals with a magnifying glass. We decided that the movie actor Matt Damon would be smart enough to do this.]

We enclosed the photograph with the letter and put it in the envelope. Our photographer fraternity brother researched where to send a letter to the movie actor Matt Damon, who, I had pointed out, probably lived on one of those Californian reservations for famous people.

We sent the letter and that was that.

Until 11 months later.

A letter came to the fraternity house. The address was written by hand, unlike any of the bills, junk mail, or court summons that made up the vast majority of the house mail. [Neither Matt Damon nor I lived at the  fraternity house, but we used it as the return address because college students move twice a year or so.]

The letter was addressed to Mr. Matt Damon.
Inside the envelope was a letter. The letter reads as follows:

 

Dear Mr. Damon,

My apologies for the delay. I had to look you up to verify that you are in fact Matt Damon. I agree. We do look very much alike. This also makes me very uncomfortable.

Sincerely,

It was hand signed with something that resembled the words Matt Damon

 

Enclosed with the letter was a photograph. The photograph was of the movie actor Matt Damon. He holds in his hands a yearbook with his finger pointing to a face with the name under it. The page opposite his own picture was covered by an 8.5 x 11 piece of printer paper. Written on that paper in large black sharpie where the words

I AM
ALSO
MATT
DAMON

This picture is now framed and hanging and the fraternity house.

I believe the no-longer-college-student Matt Damon has the photograph.

This was the end of the correspondence.

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