Posts Tagged ‘descent into madness’

On my return from Maine, these were waiting for me

 

 

The finished product. I spent a few hours fondling them.  Counted out the preorders and set them aside. That’s about forty percent of them. Those still need to be signed and packaged.

They are only inches away from my fingers as I write this.

so what’s keeping them out of yours?

well, more boxes.

like these

There just wasn’t enough time between Maine (followed by Canada, followed by Louisiana this week) and the move to get everything out and I didn’t want piles of BoT shit confusing all the other packing that was to be done. I’m moving out of The Stockholm Academy for Wayward Girls and Boys (we had a nice little graduation ceremony and everything) and into the Lawndale Conservatory for Domestic Feminism with my partner. That’s whats been taking up time. Also I’ve been trying to remain cautious about posting things I’m not sure about.

The first books will be available at the release event. If you are in the Chicago area you’ll be able to you will be able to pick them up there if you have preorders or buy them there if you don’t.

Any orders that don’t get picked up at the event, I will be sending out by mail along with the rest of the rewards the week after. I’ll message people privately to make sure your addresses are still correct. Also, if you still would like to reserve a copy($17) for yourself you can message me anytime between now and the event and I will set one aside for  you.

One more thing. This is a limited run. About 40% of my stock is preorders and once the rest are gone, they’re gone. I may order more if I get close to selling out in the next week, but I think it is unlikely.

OK, the event

I will be posting details about the release event as things get locked down. We have a tentative location, but that may change. There’s gonna be all sorts of fun stuff there. There will be entertainment, live music, burlesque, maybe some comedy, maybe more.

The party will be – if all goes according to plan – on August 25th. So mark your calendars cause it’s comin up soon.

 

Thanks for sticking around, friendos

 

A

[originally posted here]

I figure now that American Gods has come out, I should start teasing the second most anticipated premier of the season.

So take a look:

There will be changes to this. I’ve already sent my notes in and the final version should be posted soon.

As for the insides, formatting is complete and as soon as cover art is done we’re off to the races.
As Ever,

A

Violence again.

 

I meant to post when I got back. Then Orlando. So I waited, because I have nothing more to add. Then it was Baghdad. I started writing again. Catching up on the queue of old work. I wrote this last week. Then Alton Sterling, then Philando Castile, then Dallas, seems like the world can’t catch a goddamn break.

 

So we got a lot of catching up to do.

 

Orlando

 

I was out of town for a week on a work/vacation trip. I do this once or twice a year. One of the perks of what I do is sometimes I work festivals which blend very nicely into time off from the world. I don’t have internet out there.

I wanted to write something, but nothing felt right and I wanted to leave some time to grieve before I said anything about it here. So I’m just going to repost what I said on facebook:

 

I’ve just arrived home. I spent all last week working my ass off for an organization whose goal is to promote radical inclusiveness, particularly within sexual minority communities. Of all the shows and events I work it pays, by far, the least, but it is the work I am most proud of, because it is the best way I know how to serve my community given my particular skill set and experience. I am sunburnt and exhausted and sleep deprived and sick and I am incredibly joyous to be so very lucky. This is the one week a year I also get to shut off my phone for the week and not pay attention to the bullshit on social media and the news, so I didn’t know about the shooting in Orlando until a coworker announced it at strike Sunday evening. It was a strange and somber tear down as the staff grieved and processed through work, laboring so hard you couldn’t tell who was sweating or crying. I hugged and kissed them, some I’d just met Tuesday when we started, others I’ve known for years, said a quiet goodbye and drove home in the company of my partner Clara torn between our elation and being absolutely gutted by the cruelty and sadness of a single misguided individual.
To all my loved ones telling us to stay home and stay safe, I will absolutely be at Pride this year, because that is what is important and right. Because we are so much stronger and scarier acting in collaboration, just like we did last week, than any sick person with easy access to weapons. and because this world ain’t always easy.

It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.

 

I have weird feelings about collective public grieving. The difference with this is that it wasn’t one person and it wasn’t old age or disease. It was… I don’t have to tell you what it was.

 

Pride

 

So I went to Pride. As always, the act of actually going was a clusterfuck of last minute logistics. But I ended up with friends in a single room huddled around the AC. and kissed and rank and danced and smoked and told ourselves it’d all be OK.

As usual, there was the too queer for school group with complaints that Pride has become another mainstream corporate sellout and yeah, they have a point and I have my own thoughts on those, but that is another rant and shall be bitched about another time.

 

Anyhoo, onto other matters

 

Shootings

Here’s what I had to say elsewhere:

For all of those posting their outrage for the slaying of police, but not the dozens of innocent men killed by them, you are part of the problem.
The reason we say Black Lives Matter and not All lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter is because cops’ lives already matter. That doesn’t mean police aren’t killed and that it’s not tragic when it happens, but when it does there is always an outpouring of support there is a manhunt for the killer and we as a society work tirelessly to bring the perpetrators to justice. Their families are supported by our government and the news networks don’t spend so much of their coverage questioning the cop’s integrity, or whether they should have been there at the time, or what did they do wrong to warrant it, or maybe they were a bad cop. No, we give them the benefit of the doubt, because nothing justifies murder, regardless of what we may think of that person otherwise. THAT IS THE VERY MEANING OF HAVING A LIFE THAT MATTERS.
Fine, if you need another white man explaining this though a Biblical metaphor, here’s someone saying it better than me.

 

The Book

 

I’m actually embarrassed to be discussing it at this point, but there is a train at the end of that tunnel. There have been delays and I don’t mean to excuse myself, but I want to explain.

Firstly, there have been a few personnel hiccups. Putting out a book requires other people and I am so grateful for all of you who’ve helped me out so far. A number of people offered to help me with edits and I waited for each one for a month or so before moving on until after almost a year, I’ve finally got someone who may have followed through. I’m meeting with them later this week and I hope that will be the end of that.

I also have found someone to do the cover art. More on that to come.

Before that there was the lost draft.

And then there was the part where I lost three jobs in one year. The first due to logistical problems (I moved to a place that mate the commute and shifts no longer workable). Not too long afterwards I found two new jobs which I worked simultaneously until both of them disappeared when the companies ceased to function.

I soon ran out of money and began to burn through my savings (ie the kickstarter funds) in order to eat and pay rent. Since then I’ve been working to make that money back so I can fulfill my commitment to my backers.

I hope you all will be understanding and forgive me for the stalling. This has been a particularly rough time for me and the project has never been far from my mind.

 

Phew, this was a tough one.

 

A few other things. Books picked up, The Hunting Accident by David Carlson & Landis Blair, Art Speiglman’s In the Shaddow of No Towers, and Watership Down. I’m also going to pick up something for the trip to Maine with Delphi, so I’m taking Joan of Arc and Grapes of Wrath off the list. Grendel is down and Stranger in a Strange Land is next.

Kickstarter: Ok there has been some progress lately. I’m sending off my edited draft to my friend Ms Royal, who is going to be doing the final mark up. When she gets done I’ll just be tweaking the final draft.

I’m trying to use some contacts from work to find a good printer for the limited run. Also trying to decide on some extra goodies to throw in as rewards for your patience.

There is one person who didn’t claim their lunch rewards. So, you know who you are, I have not forgotten and I will find a time when I am doing the mailing/signing for you to come by my office for a drink.

Trigger Warning: boring personal shit

I meant for this post to be short ‘out of office’ message to explain where I am, but I figured halfway through I could use it as a short something to cover a few things.

First, no posts this week due to technical difficulties. My computer didn’t so much as die as suffered a serious stroke.
[For any of you technically inclined, I have a Lenovo Yoga 2 Pro which was visited by what turns out to be a fairly common problem with the model, affectionately named ‘the Lenovo Prince of Darkness’. It’s not under warranty so I’m trying to find a work around]
I didn’t want to write posts by phone and just for a fun turn of events, Delphi’s computer lost use of a portion of her keyboard and now she resorts to a point and click keyboard app, which I am just not patient enough to do. I’m trying to keep my first world problems in perspective.

This has set everything back a bit. Posts are delayed about a week, but I hope to have a few out soon in short succession to make up for it. Work on the book is now a little more behind because I hadn’t backed up the master copy for two weeks. Mostly what it delayed was work on the video project because I needed the screen and camera to work and had hoped to get rolling with that this week.

I don’t know how long it’s going to take to get the pc working again. I need some new hardware just to figure out what’s wrong and then may have to order new parts, none of which I can really afford right now, so I’m at the grin and bear and focus on something else stage.

On the upside, a friend was able to pull my files off the hard drive and I got an old computer functioning again [I was so close to throwing the thing away. Among other reasons I did away with it, it has no battery, so for now I have to stick next to an outlet.]. I can at least get some work done.

As far as the book goes, I have to be honest, I’m not going to make the very ambitious release date for which I had hoped, but I made significant progress in the past few weeks and I’m happy with where it stands. I really want to tell you what all that consists of, but can’t because spoilers.

I read my short story, “Goddamns and Sex”, at an event this weekend to what I think was the biggest live audience my fiction has ever had and it went really well. Enthusiastic, positive feedback and a desire for more. So there’s that.

I also thought I’d use today’s post to show off some pictures from last December:

The old PC I’m using next to the book:

IMG_0602[1]

Covering the first wall on day 1:

IMG_0488[1]

There were these guys to keep me company:

IMG_0490[1]

Sneak peak reveals the names of a few characters:

IMG_0530[1]

 

 

what my notes look like/why it takes awhile to turn it into something readable (spoilers…sort of):

IMG_0532[1]

 

So I’m done applying to SAIC, just waiting for a late letter of rec (yes, professor Beardsley I’m calling you out & I don’t feel bad about it, cause I’m out of my wits wondering if it will come it).*

Live has hit a weird slow down. I feel a bit rudder cut with the application done. There so many moving parts to project madness it can be a bit overwhelming in a seeing the snowflakes for the avalanche sort of way

Delphi has been good at keeping some of that insanity at bay

She’s assisting in the transcription process & I’m only a little behind schedule. In the meantime the Dirty Old Man coffers are running low so I’ve been back on the market for a day job once more

I should be resuming a regular posting schedule soon which I believe will come out to twice per week.

 

 

*as of this posting Professor Beardsley has sent in his letter of recommendation and all is well in the world. I am told the delay had something to do with a lodging dispute in London, a spot of Sino-interrogation (Chinese water torture).

Suffering a terrible dental malady, he felt himself in poor form to write a letter for me enough things about me under the influence of copious amounts of pharmaceuticals

SAIC has assured me that upon receipt of the extracted tooth they will extend some lenience of the tardiness of the letter

Hey all,
I’ve been gone for two weeks (at least, when I first started writing the post it was two weeks) now and though I would check in

The first week I was gone for Descent into Madness. If you don’t know what that is, check it out here.
Which so far has been a success
I’m tempted to turn the stream back on during the editing process, my typewriter seems suddenly lonely without you. I’m about to be gone for another five days (now passed) to be with family for the Christmas.
All my effort has been in the kickstarter and grad school application so I’ve not created any new content for you here.
Though if you want to keep track of what’s going on with the Madness Project, you can check it out on the KS page. I’ll be reposting some of the stuff here though as well.

Hopefully there will be some other projects to talk about soon, but it won’t be happening till at least the end of January so.
I’ll try to keep throwing stuff up here, but regular posting probably wont resume until at least the fifteenth which is when all my deadlines will be passed.

Running the Kickstarter took a lot more social energy than I thought, so I’m kinda snapping back n forth from one extreme to another.

January will hopefully be finding my way back up to some kind of balance. In the meantime I continue this process of self-hypnosis that begins everyday with the rhythm of the typewriter, though I can’t seem to get myself out of bed till almost noon most days.
Everything is coming to a head and while I am overwhelmed and anxious, I do not feel afraid.
My new flat is wonderful and I have a ‘place of my own’ as Virginia Wolfe once put it.
The people I live with are fantastic. I’m in a relationship for the first time that is healthy, stable, fulfilling, and in proper use of the oxford comma.
Money is tight as has most often been the case for the past couple years, but for once I find myself genuinely optimistic about the future.
I wish you all a very happy and wondrous new year